The Amish Cook from Oasis Newsfeatures

YOUR CHILDHOOD MEMORY VS YOUR CHILDS

SOMEONE HAD CHATTED EARLEIR ABOUT THEIR CHILDHOOD MEMORIES.THAT IS ALL I EVER DI D WANT WAS FOR MY GIRLS TO HAVE WONDERFUL MEMORIES BECUASE I DID NOT AS A CHILD.THE ONLY SAFE HAVEN I HAD WAS AT MY GRANDMOTHERS .MY FATHER WAS A MILITARY MAN FOR 21 YEARS AND WE MOVED AROUND ALOT.AND WE WOULD BE STATIONED IN ONE PLACE AND HE WOULD BE SENT OVERSEAS FOR TOUR.MY MOTHER WAS ONE WHO SHOULD HAVE NEVER HAD KIDS.SHE CAME FROMA BIG FAMILY OF 13 AND HER FATHER HAD WALKED OUT ON THEM WHEN THEY WERE KIDS AND HER MOTHER WAS LEFT WITH THE BURDEN OF RAISING ALL THOSE KIDS BACK IN THE 30,S AND 40,S.WE KIDS GREW UP FAST.OUT ONLY SAFE HAVEN WAS WHEN WE CAME TO VISIT GRANDMA AND GRANDPA. MY MOTHER IS BIPOLAR AND BACK IN THE 50,S AND 60,S NO ONE NKNEW MUCH ABOUT IT .IF YOU WERE A MILITARY WIFE YOU JUST WENT ON BASE AND GOT MEDS TO DEAL WITH IT .WHEN MY DAD WAS AWAY.WE KIDS RAN THE STREETS,WELL I SHOULD SAY MY OLDEST BROTHER DID ,BUT I WAS IN CHARGE OF MY LITTLE BROTHER AND SISTER.THEY THOUGHT I WAS THIER MOTHER FOR THE LONGEST TIME.WERE I WENT THEY WENT TO ,I HONESTLY REMEMBER MAKING SURE WE WERE AT SOME FRIENDS HOUSE AROUND SUPPER TIME ,HOPING WE WOULD BE ASKED TO EAT WITH THEM.BECAUSE AT HOME IT WAS USUALLY NOTHING FIXED ,BECAUSE MOM WAS HAVING ONE OF HER BREAKDOWNS AND BEING 7 YEARS OLD .I WAS NOT A COOK.SO WE ATE CEREAL ALOT. WHEN MY DAD WAS HOME IN STATES,I REMEMBER HE AND MOM FIGHTING ALL THE TIME.DAY AND NIGHT,AND WE WOULD ALWAYS BE CURSED AT BY MOM.I REMEMBER MOM WOULD ACT LIKE SHE TOOK A HAND FULL OF PILLS AND THEN WOULD TAKE OFF WALKING AND DAD WOULD LOAD US ALL UP IN THE ONLY VEHICLE AND GO SEARCHING FOR HER AND BEGGING HER TO COME BACK,WE KIDS WOULD BE CRYING OUR HEARTS OUT,AND WE ALL GREW UP WITH A FEAR OF ABANDONMENT TO THIS DAY ,BUT WE ARE WORKING THROUGH IT .MY OLDEST BROTHER IS A WORK ACHOLIC AND HAS BEEN UNFAITHFUL NUMEROUS TIMES TO HIS WIFE,(MY SISTER IN LAW)

 THAT WE ALL LOVE DEARLY,IT IS HARD FOR HIM TO SHOW EMOTIONS.MY YOUNGEST BROTHER IS A ALCHOLIC AND CAN NOT KEEP A JOB VERY LONG.  HE NEVER MARRIED OR HAD A CHILDREN     MY  BABY SISTER IS A SCHOOL TEACHER AND WAS NOT AFFLICTED AS MUCH BECAUSE SHE WAS SO YOUNG AND I WAS DETERMINED SHE HAD A NORMAL AS CHILDHOOD AS I COULD GIVE HER.I THINK MY OLDEST BROTHER JUST STAYED OUT AND ABOUT AS A CHILD BECAUSE IT WAS EASIER.HE SEXUALLY MOLESTED ME AND MY YOUNGEST BROTHER WHEN WE WERE KIDS WHEN PARENTS WERE NOT AROUND.HE DID NOT MY LITTLE SISTER BECAUSE I NEVER LET HER OUT OF MY SIGHT.SHE ACTUALLY GREW UP WITH NO EMOTIONAL SCARES.I GUESS BACK THEM RAISING 4 KIDS ON NEXT TO NOTHING PAY WAS TOUGH ON MOM.WHEN MY DAD RETIRED IN THE EARLY 70,S WE CAME BACK TO LIVE HERE IN INDIANA .WE WERE ALWAYS AT GRANDMAS HOUSE BECUASE WE KNEW WE WERE LOVED AND WELL FED.THAT WAS OUR SAFE HAVEN FOR US OLDEST KIDS.....DAD WAS AROUND AND .WELL ....MOM KNEW SHE COULD NOT GET BY WITH SOME THINGS AS SHE DID WHEN HE WAS GONE.SHE ACTUALLY STARTED TRYING TO BE A MOTHER TO MY LITTLE SISTER AND SHE DOES NOT HAVE THE BAD MEMORIES WE OLDER ONES DO .BACK THEN WHEN WE WERE KIDS I REMEMBER NEVER HAVING  LUNCH MONEY AND WELL I DO NOT KNOW WHY WE WERE NOT TAKEN AWAY FORM HER.IF THE SAME SITUAION WAS TODAY ,WE WOULD HAVE BEEN TAKEN AWAY.    I REMEMBER GOING ON SCHOOL OUTING WHERE YOU WERE SUPPOSSED TO TAKE A SACK LUNCH ,I NEVER HAD ONE ,BUT I ALWAYS MADE SURE MY YOUNGER BROTHE R AND SISTER HAD ONE FOR THEIR SCHOOL OUTINGS, I REMEMBER FIXING MUSTARD AND CRACKERS ONE TIME IN MINE ,BECAUSE I WAS NOT ALLOWED OT COOK ON STOVE.WHY IAM I TELLING YOU THIS.BECUASE CHILDHOOD MEMOREIS IS WHAT MAKES OR BREAKS US.SOMETIMES I WONDER HOW I TURNED OUT  THE WAY I DID ,AND FIGURED OUTT HAT I DID NOT HAVE A CHILDHOOD GROWING UP BECAUSE I WAS TO BUSY BEING A ADULT AND WELL I KNOW ONE THING.I ALWAYS TOLD NYSELF WHEN I GROW UP I WAS GOINGT O BE THE BEST MOTHER I COULD POSSIBLY BE AND I WAS....MY GIRLS DI D NOT HAVE EVERYHING THEY WANTED ,BUT THEY ALWAYS HAD WHAT THEY NEEDED AND THAT WAS ALL MY LOVE AND NOW IM A GRANDMA AND I WORSHIP THE GROUND THEY WALK ON AS DID MY GRANDMA WITH US .EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT COOKING,CANNING,GARDENING,SEWING,MY GRANDMA TAUGHT ME .I JUST WANTED TO LET EVERYONE KNOW THAT THE CYCLE CAN BE BROKEN,AND LOVE YOUR BABIES BECAUSE THEY WILL GROW UP SOME DAY AND HAVE BABIES OF THEIR OWN.GOD SO PLEASE MAKE PRECIOUS MEMORIES FOR THEM ALL