Wedding Music?

Stay tuned for another posting later today....I'll be closely monitoring my mail for the arrival of my advance copy of The Amish Cook at Home!

In some ways, my upcoming "get hitched" date seems like "no big deal."  Rachel and I have been together longer than many marriages - 8 years - so in theory the ceremony should simply mark a seamless switch into a new era.   If I dwell on it too long, though, then I shudder a bit at the significance. Marriage is, ideally, something you do just once so you want to do it right.  I've made my fair share of mistakes with The Amish Cook column through the years....I've been working on the column for 18 years now and still haven' found a formula to get it right.....I hope it doesn't take me 18 years of being married to figure out how to do that correctly.

I've been to several Amish weddings and I never remember hearing any music.  Amish Sunday services, however, are punctuated with many songs from their Ausbund, which is the oldest Protestant hymn book in continuous existence.  The songs are sung accapella and are beautiful in a haunting, simple way.  Music punctuates Amish culture in other areas, but always in accapella form.  I have now and then heard tales of Amish men who keep a harmonica tucked away in a dresser drawer to bring out on special occasions, but I've never witnessed this myself.  Music is a great way to capture and preserve a moment.  I'm sure that most of us have experienced listening to a song that was significant during a period of life long ago and its playing brings back the sights, sounds and even smells of that time.    I've joked with Rachel that we ought to have the Eichers yodel at our wedding to add some real sentimental significance.  But we'll probably pass on that.  On the other hand with the Eichers and Schwartzes making up about a third of our entire guest list at the wedding we want to choose music that is appropriate for all ears.   I kind of like this song, it's catchy and sort of captures a lot of my life at the moment.  Not sure if it is too fast for a slow dance?  So do any of you have a special song that is "your song" that was played at your wedding? If so, what was/is it?




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Perhaps this gives us a clue why you have not heard any music at Amish weddings.

Nothing meets the criteria for appropriate.

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 When I got married 32 plus years ago we didn't have music, just a meal. Today while I was driving down to the Airport with desserts the song came on my country station , When I say I do by Clint Black & Lisa Hartman Black. Not sure if you and Rachel are into country but I sure like this song, give it a listen.

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I like the beat to the song and I don't normally like slower music but that isn't too slow.  It's "ire" as they would say in the islands.

With that being said I listened to the words next , then googled them. I will admit it's not for everyone but this is not everyone's wedding. This is "Kevin and Rachel's Wedding." There will always be someone who doesn't like what you choose be it music, food, frosting,  the cake etc. You and Rachel have to go with what pleases you on this big day. Since you are not having a church wedding then it should be fine.

Far as dealing with possible children this isn't the type of tune small ears tend to hear well. While I admit children hear a lot and pick up things fast reggae style music puts most kids to sleep because they hear things differently then adults.

That is assuming you will allow children to be at your wedding. I have met several couples in recent years that had a "no child" policy at both the wedding and the reception because either they did not want to listen to complaints or they felt many children now are poorly behaved and are disruptive. People who complained were disinvited in every single case. I would not go to that extent but it is becoming more popular to have adult only wedding parties.

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My at the time future MIL had an absolute fit that we invited children to our wedding, never mind that fact that I had two nephews in the wedding and a baby niece at the time, and the other three bridesmaids had two children each, and my cousins all had children...  How rude it would have been of me to not include the children! My Mom, being the awesome Grandma that she is and I totally loved the idea, made a coloring table area for the children at the reception, it was a big hit!  My MIL (and her MIL, both)  just had their noses in the air the whole day, which unfortunately gave a bad start to our relationshipFrown even now we aren't very close.  A few years later when the other son got married she got her wish for a childless wedding, we had four at the time, so we didn't goFrownfurther degrading the relationship.

Keep in mind that Kevin's initial blog on the subject stated that he wanted music that was appropriate for all ears!  

To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:5

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That is too bad that your MIL did not want kids at your wedding like I mentioned even though I've met people who have banned kids I would not.

 I like weddings where kids go, it's more fun and I really love your idea of the coloring table at the reception. Too bad you and your MIL are not close but she sort of set the tone for that herself. I don't go to weddings that children are banned from and I'm don't even have kids. The way I see it is they are people too and I was once a child myself and I know I didn't like to be banned from events.

I agree that kevin's post was about appropriate to all ears but in reality that is not possible because there will always be someone who disagrees about what is appropiate for a child.

 For instance I have friends who will not let their children watch Disney movies but others will, I have met people who only allow Veggie Tales and others who will not because they feel it presents only a Christian version of things. Then there is the camp who bans all movies and all televisions. Like I said it goes on and on and it's not possible to satisfy everyone.

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The song played for our first dance at our wedding reception was, "Save the Best for Last" by Vanessa Williams.  It had special meaning then - and still has a lot of sentimental "value" to me because of that.  I don't think I'd consider it "our song" anymore though, but that's okay.  We've changed and grown, so anything we would choose to express or identify how we feel today would understandably change as well. 

I think you should choose something that has special meaning to you right now, Kevin.  Of course, I think you and Rachel should agree on whatever song you choose; but I also believe that (within reason) anyone listening to that song when it is played will understand that it has special meaning to the two of you and, therefore, wouldn't be offended by it.  It's not punctuated with vulgarity or anything.  It's not a type of music some find instantly off-putting.  And you'll never find something that will "please" everyone (yourselves included)

My bottom line on the subject is this:  The song you posted is a good one!  And if it speaks to you and the point at which you find yourself in life, then it is also a good choice for the occasion.


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OK the lyrics of this song became our dinner time conversation.  I goggled the words and we talked/debated as to what he was meaning.  Out of 4 adults (ages 16-52) we came up with 4 different interpretations.  However, we all agree it was a love song with the singer wanting to comment heart and soul to his mate.

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I'm sure when Rachel checks my blog later - SIGH, she often does - the lyrics will become our topic of conversation too.....I've actually found several different lyrics sets online, so I'm not even sure which is the right set...but I'll chalk BK up in the "non-objectionable" column, KJunebug in the objectionable column, maybe I'll decide this on popular vote:)

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Ah but we could use the lyrics as an 'ink-blot' test  to find out who has a 'dirty mind' and who doesn'tWink

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When we got married, 13 yrs. ago this past May, we chose Bette Midler's "The Rose."  It was sung before the service by a dear friend of mine from college. Congratulations and blessings on your wedding and life together as a married couple.

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I have played/perform music for many  church weddings and have seen all 'types' of musical styles and themes. Had one priest who wised up and requested all words to songs not found in the hymnals before he would ok what songs were use. One thing that I noticed from most, is if it is an unfamiliar song, some at the wedding will come and comment on the music  'Oh that song was so lovely but I couldn't quite make out the words.'  I think this is what will happen if you use this song.  Many who will be hearing it for the first time, will not understand every word to the song. others will not get or understand the underlining meanings to what he is singing.  Most will say it's a catchy melody.  In the end, it's your day so go for itWink

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"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift... that's why they call it the present."

Hmm... I've listened to it 3 times now, and although I can see how some would take a sexual undertone from it, I am not sure that is what the song is actually about.  To me, it sounds like he is finally ready to commit to a girl he let slip away.  Just my take on it Smile.

 I am assuming this song is meant for your first dance?  I don't even remember ours, but it was probaby "Still the One" by Shania Twain.  The song I walked down the aisle to was the lovely, classical "Canon in D."  The Baby Einstein lullaby CD has a version of that song on it, and it always made me tear up when I was rocking my daughter at night (and the raging hormones probably didn't help, either Wink).

We didn't live together before we were married... granted, I was barely 21 when we were married and still in college.  In some respects, I am not sure we would have stayed together long enough to get married if we would have lived together.... that first year of marriage was horrible for me!  I had to get used to not reading in bed, etc...things that I had ALWAYS done.  Plus, he did irritating things that I just wasn't used to with living with a guy.  My other friends have said the same thing, so I know I am not alone.  But you guys won't have that problem since you are already used to each other's idiosyncracies Wink.  Regarless of what has happened in the past, you both are here and where you are now!  Embrace it!  And I agree with KJB... let the fertility clouds rain down on your marriage parade! LOL

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Although the style of music is not my cup of tea, I really like the funky sound it has. It's definitely different in a good way. Go for it! My husband and I danced to "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica at our reception 5 years ago. The D. J. thought that our choice was an awesome one.

Also, my husband and I dated for 7.5 years before getting married (I wanted to finish my chemical engineering degree before planning a wedding). We lived together for 11 months in my old college apartment while we were engaged. My parents and my in-laws and our too-conservative Catholic priest all weren't happy about that, but I think that it helped us. We were able to get used to each other and to each other's quirks before the wedding. These "growing pains" helped us better understand each other as we prepared for our marriage. My husband and I are in complete agreement that engaged couples should live together before the wedding, and if our son (he's 22 months now) wants to live with his finacee, we won't step in the way. We will just make sure that our son is the best educated boy when it comes to birth control and sex ed!

Best of luck to you and Rachel!

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M...thank you. I like the sound of the song too...a little different, I'm all about "a little different."  Although I have a bad habit of really liking a song's tune and not paying a bit of attention to the words, only to find that they ARE totally inappropriate later...but the song I linked to, I don't think it's overly racy...but that's just me.  As far as living together, thanks for sharing...Chemical engineering degree is definitely impressive!  I don't think either Rachel or I ever WANTED to live together just sort of happened gradually, I know, not a good excuse....I think for a period I just let my life go into a "neutral" or an "adrift" mode and now I'm trying to retake control and getting married is one of those ways.......

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Unfortunately these days I listen to the lyrics first. It is my Biblical duty to protect my children from things of the world. So, when you open up a question on whether about to use a song or not, my immediate response is, to listen forto the lyrics.

At Bible Camp this past June, one of the speakers spoke on the subject of sharing our Bible beliefs as saved Christians with the world and worldly.  He said something that has really stuck with me, and actually made me think of the Anabaptist plight during the Reformation.  He said we should never feel afraid to share the Truth's that are in the Bible with anyone.  Those early Christian martyrs, certainly weren't afraid to share, even thought they faced death, for they knew they would live eternally with Christ. 

I am guessing I know that it is not always wise to do so, that the Eicher and Schwartz children have never been to an "English" wedding, while they have had contacts with what I will call regular worldly stuff, that you wedding is going to be a completely new experience for them, my thoughts on the song, came out of a courtesy of who a good portion of your guesses will be.  

So about this song, I looked up the lyrics to see them written, and my answer would definately be no, the song is not appropriate for children. It is nothing to take offense with, it is just an opinion, based of Bible teachings. 

I will say that I am especially tuned into this sort of thing, after being a Momma for over 20 years, it is just part of the Momma radar, I really think it is a good thing, it just isn't what the world expects.  And yes, I and my husband and older daughter are those people who turn magazine covers backwards in checkout stands.

To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:5

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I like this song. It's different from what you hear at some weddings. I'm not going to post here and "preach" to you about your decisions! And, as far as I'm concerned- this song shouldn't be disrespectful because you aren't getting married in a church. Do what you like.
My husband sang "Now and Forever" by Richard Marx at our church wedding. It was lovely. He has also sang at other weddings- at his sister's outdoor wedding, he sang "You Fill Up My Senses" by John Denver. That's a different song, too, but very appropriate.

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I wouldn't consider that song as appropriate to all ears!!  I only listened to about 30 sec, the first words of the song are a bit racy, then into the chorus I heard a slang word at which point I turned it off. My advice and out of respect to your younger, Amsih guests, is to try some instramental songs, jazz or classical, nothing too shocking, save this song for some private time you and Rachel will share.  Call it a compromise. 

Now for the preaching: You are right in thinking that you are all ready married, the Bible is pretty clear on this subject. This is a big thing! The Pastors at our church won't perform the marriage service for couples who've been living together. Since I came to the website, I've been praying for you that you would be married, so it's an answered prayer!!  So of course the next prayer is for the giant fertility cloud to rain on you two!! It's always exciting to be in God's will!  It's a new beginning, for you (and Rachel) in your relationships with Christ!     

To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:5

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A popular song I've heard at weddings, it is country, is I Cross My Heart by George Strait.  It's from the movie Pure Country.

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